


Just a Toy

by Kennyisthecutest



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Control Issues, Getting Together, Hickeys, Hinata Being Used, I'm Sorry, Kageyama-centric, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Instability, Phone Sex, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Top Oikawa, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:42:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3285653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kennyisthecutest/pseuds/Kennyisthecutest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“L o v e, he told himself, was open to interpretation like any other abstract indulgence but followed the same principles everywhere, irrespective of everything else. One, either  won  or  l o s t  in love, there was no bridge in between,</p><p>and he decided he had l o s t,  lost to himself,</p><p>if not to [the other].” </p><p>― Faraaz Kazi</p><p>  </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Hinata, Kageyama realized as said redhead lunged across the court, had an entirely erotic composition.<br/>It wasn’t that he hadn't taken in the virgin white stretch of Hinata’s skin, or the thinness of his arms which could be completely coiled beneath fingers before… Kageyama just hadn’t placed the correct term that applied to the way Hinata’s clothing would drape from his shoulders and fold down his back until today.</p><p>His big eyes, his voice, and… he’s so small; Hinata Shoyou was meant to be a sex toy.</p><p>Or</p><p>The one when Hinata and Oikawa get together and Kageyama can't. take. it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I. this is the starting point

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, please enjoy ( ๑॔˃̶◡ ˂̶๑॓)! Just so everyone knows, Hinata and Oikawa are NOT the main/good(?) (ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ) pairing of this story! (´･益･｀*) The eventual (if everything works out because hey you never know) is KageHina. So those of you whom are OiHina fans, don't be angry!! (btws OiHina is my secret love ʕ̡̢̡*✪௰✪ૢʔ̢̡̢)
> 
> This is an extremely graphic and disturbing story at times. Please make sure to consult all of the tags to be sure you are okay with such content. 
> 
> Playlist for this work:
> 
> [Just A Toy](http://8tracks.com/kennyisthecutest/just-a-toy?utm_medium=trax_embed) from [kennyisthecutest](http://8tracks.com/kennyisthecutest?utm_medium=trax_embed) on [8tracks Radio](http://8tracks.com?utm_medium=trax_embed).

 

 

 

 

 

 

> "Buckets of  _rain_ , buckets of  **tears**    
>  Got all them buckets coming out of my ears   
>  Buckets of  m o o n b e a m s  in my hand   
>  You got all the love, honey baby, I can stand   
>    
>  I like your  s m i l e  and your  _fingertips_.   
>  I like the way that you move your hips.   
>  **I like**  the cool way you look at me.   
>  **Everything**  about you  ~~is bringing me misery~~."

 -Bob Dylan  

 

 

 

 

* * *

  I.this is the starting point 

* * *

 

_Part One: The Illness_

* * *

Hinata, Kageyama realized as the redhead lunged across the court, had an entirely erotic composition.

It wasn’t that he hadn't taken in the virgin white stretch of Hinata’s skin, or the thinness of his arms which could be completely coiled beneath fingers before… Kageyama just hadn’t placed the correct term that applied to the way Hinata’s clothing would drape from his shoulders and fold down his back until today.  
His big eyes, his voice, and… he’s so small; Hinata Shouyou was meant to be a sex toy.

And Kageyama was pretty sure he was always this way, always looking different than everyone else… just now, when he dragged his wrist over his forehead after nailing a volleyball into the wooden floor, he seemed to sparkle.

Which was weird because Kageyama knew that Hinata doesn’t sparkle as much as he does sweat, so Kageyama just sort of told himself that even though it may look like Hinata was gleaming with some sort of enchanted shine he was only drenched in stinking human fluids that are scientifically proven to contain a percentage of piss.

It sort of worked when he thought of it that way.

After practice, much of which revolved around receiving, Daichi gathered everyone up for the typical final verse of advice and comments.  
  
“We’ve got a lot of potential,” Ukai nodded, running his eyes down a clipboard of his ‘notes’ which everyone knew was just a blank sheet of paper he kept to make it seem as if the coach was doing something professional.  
  
“Kageyama-“ He turned, looking at Hinata leaning forward with his fingers curled around his crossed ankles, his eyes were wide and his whisper had sent pin-needles across Kageyama’s shoulders.  
  
“What?” He hadn’t meant to snap, but he did anyway.  
  
Hinata blinked, looking back and forth before leaning forward, lips nearly pressing against Kageyama’s ear, breathing, “I don’t think Coach Ukai actually wrote anything on that.”

Kageyama flinched back, pushing Hinata’s face away with his hand that just happened to cover Hinata’s enormous eyes, concealing him from a red face and wobbly grimace. He had gotten too close too fast.  
  
“Dumbass,” Kageyama hissed, “everyone already knows that!”  
  
They were both met with a heavy hand on their shoulders and an even heavier bleak aura; effectively freezing them in place.  
  
“Pay attention,” Daichi growled, immediately responded with “Yes captain!”

“Actually, that’s about it…” Ukai said, “except maybe each of you should work to improve on your receives. We got lucky against Aobajousai this week, your Libro really saved you guys.”  
  
That was most certainly true. Karasuno had a close win against Aobajousai High, and that was partially due to Nishinoya who basically carried the entire team on his shoulders, and also because of Oikawa, the biggest threat in regards to Aobajousai. He was surpassingly… off his game and focused on finding holes in Kageyama and Hinata’s monster combination, than to the game in general. Although they lost, Oikawa had decanted a quick-hit. He seemed happier about that than anything else at the time.  
  
“Next time we might not be so lucky… anyway, good job everyone.” Ukai finished, grinning at the team before instructing cleanup.

 

“Huh? Hinata… you look sort of weird today…” Tanaka said, while everyone was either gathering their things or stuffing the volleyballs into the medal bins, Kageyama was instantly in tune with the conversation, “It’s like you’re all ‘a glow’!”

Kageyama internally sighed in relief for it seemed he wasn’t the only one to notice.  
  
“Yeah!” Nishinoya yelled, jumping to Hinata’s side with a mop in hand, “like… an ‘ _after sex_ glow’.”  
  
Kageyama inhaled so quickly he had to take caution not to choke.  
  
“N-no! That’s not-!” Hinata said, now more red then ‘a glow’, “well… not exactly… sex…”

  
_Not exactly sex?_  
  
_Not exactly?_

_It’s a no. Shouldn’t it have been a no?_

 

He deteriorated the words in his head, messing them up, getting deeper…

“Aha! So you were up to something though,” Noya was strangling Hinata’s left shoulder, Tanaka on his right equally as interested in the conversation, “Weren’t you?”

“Just a… just a…”  
  
“Just a what?” Both Nishinoya and Tanaka shouted at the same moment. Kageyama said it too, just in an inaudible breath.

Hinata, with those big brown eyes, glanced between the two then looked back to his intermingled fingers.  
  
“Just kisses and… things…”  
  
He said it quietly but it could have been screamed and had the same effect. At this point, the whole gymnasium was listening, Tanaka lifted Hinata in the air and swung him back and forth. Nishinoya cheered and proudly displayed his thumbs as if they were winning lotto tickets. The third years, whom had apparently been eavesdropping all along, beamed and congratulated Hinata on “his first steps to manhood”…  
  
While this was happening Kageyama cleaned the gym spotless.  
  
Not looking up from his game of concentration with hardwood floor.  
  
Not because of the fucking big eyes that bit holes into his back. But because if he did, he thought me might get sick.

  

* * *

I. this is the starting point 

* * *

 

“You aren’t too jealous are you, Kageyama?”  
  
He hadn’t been listening well, too engaged with the bits of grass that succumbed to Hinata’s bike wheel.  
  
“Jealous?” He repeated, hearing the word echo through his skull like it was desperate to be the truth, “Well... I didn’t notice you until today. I don't think I've had enough time.”  
  
“What?” Hinata’s walk didn’t slow, his hands didn’t sway. He was probably use to Kageyama saying weird things.  
  
He didn’t answer. He wondered if the grass had ever thought about an escape.  
  
“All I know,” Hinata said, pointed chin tipped upwards into the damp air, “is I’m gonna be getting  _love bites_ ,” He turned towards him with a grin, demanding attention which Kageyama was uncontrollably willing to give, “while you get mosquito bites.”  
  
They both looked over at each other for a second longer, the rubber wheels making the soul sound in the wet and endless air. Kageyama watched from black and blue lenses.

Kageyama reasoned that no, those blades of grass know there is no escape.

Hinata’s eyes shrunk, and the happy hills below twitched.   
  
“ _Hickeys_ ,” He caught himself, “They are called hickeys.”

 

 _Kiss marks huh?_  
_Hinata would look good with those._

 

  “Show me.”

Hinata blinked, his steps faltering at the request.  
  
“I-uh-I didn’t mean now...” He said, sending a quick glare through a scrunched up complexion. He was embarrassed, with a crinkled nose and dented brows.  
Kageyama on the other hand, appeared unfazed. Stone cold perhaps, with just a hint of interest in his widened eyes.

“So you don’t have one, huh?”  
  
Hinata’s face shifted up quickly turning his head to the side. “W-Well… I never said that…”  
  
“Show me.”  
  
Hinata swallowed, then cautiously pulled the sleeve of his sweatshirt up, just to pause. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”  
  
Kageyama didn’t respond, his eyes locked onto the thin wrist.  
  
“Okay?”  
  
“Yes. Of course I wouldn’t tell.”  
  
Hinata flipped his hand, relieving large bruises on the underside of his wrist.

 

 _Purple, gray, pink and blue… crawling up such ivory skin._  
  
_As if it was meant to be._

_Hickeys do look good on him._

 

“Kageyama, I have to go.” Hinata said, breaking Kageyama’s trance with the abused skin. “This is our intersection.”  
  
“I know, dumbass.”

Hinata grinned. It was familiar. He pulled down his sleeve then mounted his bike.

“Bye Kage-“  
  
“Wait,”  
  
Hinata watched him crouch to the ground, eyes now trained on the front wheel of his bike.  
  
The questions for some reason died in his throat as Kageyama’s long fingers began picking the wet strands of grass from medal.  
  
“They’re going to get sick.” He answered anyways.  
  
Because Kageyama always knew anyways.  
  
“Okay,” Hinata said, his eye lids heavy and his throat dry. Then he peddled away.

Kageyama didn’t watch him go.  
  
He coddled the blades of grass in his pocket.

 

* * *

I. this is the starting point 

* * *


	2. II. wiretapping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you guys so much for all the positive feedback 卅(◕‿◕)卅! Hope you all continue to enjoy ᒄ₍⁽ˆ⁰ˆ⁾₎ᒃ♪♬ !

 

* * *

II. wiretapping 

* * *

 

“Hello Kageyama, are you going someplace-“

“Dammit!”

 

Asahi, despite being larger in form, flinched as the first year stormed.

It was damp. A gray haze having masked the ground for the past three days, so that when someone breathes a wet smoke suffocates their throat. Practice was canceled, apparently there was a storm coming and the threat of flood was too real. 

“Uhm” Asahi mumbled seemingly invisible to the other, “sorry?” 

A deafening and profanely awkward pause settled on Asahi's shoulders.

Kageyama stood stagnant, glancing to Asahi with a quick nod before returning his gaze to the spot of ground before his dressy Sperry shoes.

Both his long arms exposed from the mid biceps down, a sweater-vest the color of wet pine trees across his torso over a black dress shirt and below that, a matching pair of pants. 

Asahi readjusted his view.

“What are you doing dressed like that?”

“Nothing,” Kageyama blurted all too quickly, “just… walking.”

Asahi held his lips close together, praying his smile wouldn’t leak through words, “Oh, thats good.”

“Just…” Kageyama swallowed, not willing his eyes from the watered road. The words died in his throat.

“Hey Asahi,” Kageyama said in a quick new tone, that sort of caught Asahi off guard, “have you met Hinata’s girlfriend?”

The blithe tilt of his lips faltered.

“G-girlfriend?” Asahi sputtered, “I don’t… I don’t think Hinata…maybe I’m wrong…”

“What? What was that?”

Asahi watched himself waver in the reflection of Kageyama’s eyes, which seemed all the deeper against a white atmosphere.

“I may be inferring here,” Kageyama became a molecular scientist, staring up at the experiment through fog-less goggles, “but I think Hinata is into... _men_.”

Then he was confused, all squished up behind his blue.

“Guys?” He voiced to himself, it was as trying to surgically cut up the word and understand it.

Then it seemed he got it.

His eyes went wide, then small, the stress lines falling back against his face.

“Oh,”

Asahi held in his breath as Kageyama gave him a detached wave then began wordlessly walking away from the school.

The third year grimaced to himself, “You never answered me!” he called out, watching as the other’s dark green back nearly disappeared in the thick fog, “What is it that you’re wearing?”

“A disguise for spying!” 

“Oh,” Asahi nodded to himself as he moved through the sentence.

“Oh... shit.”

 

* * *

II. wiretapping 

* * *

 

It made sense obviously. 

Hinata was attractive. He was hot, and thin, and everything a typical guy jacked off to. 

Except for the negatory status of bombshell breasts, or long elegant hair, and minus all of the boyish things that Hinata also happened to manifest. 

He was nearly positive every guy could at least feel a bit of a throb if Hinata had partaken in any of the poses most of their pinups did. No wonder guys wanted him.

And girls just wouldn’t work. They would just get envious, and how could Hinata ever support curved thighs around his torso?

It was so easy, so clear and apparent, a discovery that made Kageyama feel as if he was reaching a new.

His mind was racing, hands and feet numb as the clouds begun to turn and beads of rain  flipped off the tip of his elbow. He didn’t feel his feet hit past eight kilometers. 

No sound of desperate wind could break his though mindset, not even as it howled through the hollow ways of his eardrum. The puddles had long since broken into his shoes, they now traveled up his socks, meeting up with the blots that had accumulated along the exposure of neck.

He was far too concerned about a gushing pit in his stomach for it was beating like some tumor of excitement.

And why it was he was exited (a heavy chest and broken speech and nervous eyes and erratic breath and unstoppable mind flow-)… he had no idea.

The only thing that could act as a trigger to pull Kageyama from his self diagnosing state was the familiar metal bike left vacant against-

_Aobajousai?_

He really had yet take in the length at which he walked.

Needlessly, he stretched about, scanning for its owner.

Kageyama hadn’t seen Hinata today. They shared none of the same classes, or lunch period and since volleyball practice had been postponed until the critical status of the monsoon had passed. It seemed he wasn’t around here either.

Kageyama’s eyes wandered. The bike rested against the brick wall of what appeared to be the Aobajousai locker-room. It was nearly seven so he doubted if such a place would still be opened… but…

“Hinata, you idiot,” He muttered to himself, stomping towards the disregarded bike. “If he leaves this bike here it will only rust _.”_

He said this, pretending not to see the slight incline of the roof, providing shelter for object.

_I guess I should check if he went inside here…_

He reasoned all this, and if he didn’t think any deeper than that, it made sense.  

Surprisingly, when Kageyama pulled upon the door handle, the door opened: unlocked. He crept in silently regardless of his soggy shoes for he knew this was most definitely trespassing on many accounts. 

His back pressed against a first opening wall, one probably placed so that players would not be exposed to the passerby-er if the door had opened, and then he breathed.

The locker rooms, unlike the outside world, were not damp, but instead musty. Poorly lit and shaded in old canteen light bulbs, giving off a weak yellowish/orange wash. It wasn’t cool either like the raindrops that clung to his neck, but instead very warm, and if not for the chill running through Kageyama’s skin, uncomfortably so. 

As he stepped forward, never debating whether calling out Hinata’s name would solve the issue, (because perhaps he subconsciously knew exactly what he was about to see) and instead entered a more central room when he heard it.

A moan… that ran through the tips of his fingers and swam in through both ears. One that made his hands rocks, his jaw snap and his feet jittered. He was forced, if not to tremble in place, to leap into the small open changing room (made for the more shy teenage boys) and press against the stone wall, feeling the voice ripple through his back with shuttered lids.

Finally, did Kageyama become removed, reacting as if a blade had stabbed him then receded. He let out a shaky breath, his clean cut shoes not daring to move before him as his head rolled forward.

In some sense he found who he was looking for.

Kageyama bared his teeth tightly.

That ever so erotic moan could only belong to that of Hinata.

 

No one else could achieve such a naked noise.

He could hear it all from here, couldn’t here?

“Are you? -ah~“

He could.

Hinata’s sound smoked him again. Battered and bashed across his chest. Made him all red.

Maybe he could even see it… if he so much as peered out the open archway. They sounded close, maybe ten feet away… facing right at him. They wouldn’t see him. He knew they wouldn’t see him, because when someone is with Hinata, they are preoccupied with him just breathing. But doing,that.

 

Their whole world must be absorbed.

 

He wondered what it was that was making Hinata’s body respond this way (not thinking about his own body's reactions, because of course, this is no longer significant). Where Hinata had to be touched, or kissed, or…

 

Again the voice hit his head and his walls went spinning.

 

 

_His throat his neck_

_The spaces between his ribs, his toes_

 

_The untouchables…_

 

 

He inched forward, head against the wall just nearing the curve. 

 

“What are you trying -ah!- I can’t, I don’t have any - _ah_ -”

 

He breathed in deep, his body shaking, thoughts too fast.

 

“Please, I don’t do -ahaah-“

 

And looked directly into the eyes of his killer.

 

“Ahh, grand k-Oika _hawahhh_!”

* * *

II. wiretapping 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your comments they are all read, and you never know... you may change the story (๑´⍢`๑)
> 
> love  
> kit  
> (ΦзΦ)


	3. III. blood-pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Please enjoy the cover photo and 8track playlist on the first page ✌♫♪(˙❤‿❤˙)♫♪✌, or click this link:
> 
> [Just A Toy](http://8tracks.com/kennyisthecutest/just-a-toy?utm_medium=trax_embed) from [kennyisthecutest](http://8tracks.com/kennyisthecutest?utm_medium=trax_embed) on [8tracks Radio](http://8tracks.com?utm_medium=trax_embed).
> 
> Warning, some people may find the character's actions in this story offensive and/or abusive. 
> 
> Skip to the end of this chapter if you do not wish to read this.

* * *

 III. blood pressure 

* * *

Kageyama never really hated getting his flu shot, well he did, but not nearly as much as he did when the doctor strapped velcro the band around his arm, slowly but surly, squeezing tighter to ‘needlessly’ calculate his blood pressure. He always thought he would pop.   


Right now, he'd rather have Oikawa take a shot at him. Beat the shit out of him, kick him till he could not stand. Instead, he swallowed him. _Snake eyes,_ Kageyama realized, _Oikawa has snake eyes._

Two sharp angles tying around his throat, his chest, his wrists. Oikawa made his skin suffocate.  


And this, was the reason he hadn’t moved from the spot. A Peeping Tom. Watching as his predecessor sat straight upon the backless bench directly across from him, Oikawa’s long-sleeves bunched up, composure completely sound but for the unzipped/unbuttoned denim and his shoeless, socked souls. And, of course, across his lap was a completely naked, flushed and shaking, Hinata.   


And in this light, Kageyama realized Hinata didn’t look deathly pale as his teammates voiced, but like butter-milk had been draped across his curving body.  


 

Milk was Kageyama’s favorite. He’d probably drink a gallon when he got home.  


 

And his thin, but plump thighs were small and long and they could fit on top of Oikawa’s, even as they quivered and shook; they did not threaten to fall.   


 

Kageyama already knew about this though. He knew the shape oh Hinata’s legs so well he could trace them into sand.  


 

And Hinata’s arms, his hands, his fingers… he held onto the other’s shoulders gripping so tightly.   


 

Kageyama would be clawing into his own shoulders that night… (maybe then it would be just like-…)  


 

And from Hinata’s hair, dipped in the sweetness of a blood orange and damp across his neck, his spine ran between his **shoulder blades** then dipped down, no fell, in at a jeering arch.   


 

Kageyama fell down it.  


 

And his hips were perfect. Slightly propped up as Oikawa seemed to be playing with his chest.   


Which Kageyama wish to see, because Hinata had taken his shirt off before and he wondered what such pink rose buds looked like all pricked up.  


 

And then his eyes fell to his butt,   


 

And that was perfect too.   


 

And Hinata,

And Hinata,

And Hinata,

And Kageyama then realized that it wasn’t Oikawa that was keeping him in place.  


Hinata moaned again.

 

Oikawa couldn’t really blame him for not moving though, could he?

Especially with a person like _that_ … Hinata was meant to be seen… but that doesn’t mean Kageyama was meant to be the one who saw him. He probably should have known what the lone bike and low lights meant (he did), and he probably should have left- he should leave.

He had to now, a sudden realist surge of panic, because, wow, **he needed to get out of here**.  


****Oh but, he couldn’t.  


So, without another thought, Kageyama bared open his teeth, and mouthed the words to those cornered eyes, “I’m sorry”

Sorry, that he walked in on Oikawa doing ‘something’ with Hinata.

 

~~ For wanting Oikawa’s possession more than anyone should. ~~

 

But it seemed like Oikawa didn’t care (either way) because he raises one eyebrow along with his twin shoulders and shrugged, bored as if it were the plainest situation in the world. 

Oikawa's vision fell down to Hinata, then widened.

Within a second his hand pried it’s way to the inside of Hinata’s knee, and then he swung him open, twisting Hinata’s entire body a clean 90 degrees.

Hinata gasped, Oikawa smiled, Kageyama felt his stomach get excited.  


_Hinata._

_Hinata._

_Hinata._

He was at full display now, red blushed chest and neck. And, as Kageyama felt all blood fall down his veins, he realized Hinata also got pink thinly along the middle of his thighs and the tops of his arms. And his face, across his cute pointed nose and rounded cheeks. He was a perfect passionate red, and Kageyama realized Hinata didn’t see him, because his vision was sex-red too.

“I-ah, _no_ , I said no-“ 

Kageyama’s throat tightened as Hinata’s used voice hit him without a barrier to coddle his poor heart.

“Come on,” Oikawa shushed from behind him, perching his chin over Hinata’s shoulder, “it’s fine.”

“But I don’t want-“

“You do. It’s fine.”

“No fingers-I’m not ready-I don’t-

“I said it’s **fine**.”

Hinata clamped his lips shut after that, his eyebrows scrunching down and eyelids jolting shut.

Oikawa looked back at Kageyama, the stone still but mentally decapitated Kageyama Tobio, and smiled as his middle finger went between his legs and pried into Hinata.

 

And honestly, that’s what broke Kageyama.

 

The noise Hinata made as that one long finger dug inside of him had Kageyama leaping back, his feet spinning fast enough to send him into the shaded wall behind him. 

He was too hard, he was too tight and above all, his dick felt as if it was about to burst.

Kageyama sharply inhaled among the shadows.

 

_It’ll be okay,_

 

Hinata threw his head back as the knuckle peeking out below him began twisting circuitously.

While Kageyama’s eyes locked in with the flinching muscles in Hinata’s stomach his own palms creeped forward.

 

_Won’t it?_

 

A wet, clear juice, lubricant, leaked down Oikawa’s finger, dripping down his wrist and pooling onto the floor. Streaks of sweat ran down Kageyama’s neck as his hands hovered over the medal button on his pants.

Then Hinata’s voice, a constant hum, broke loud.

 

_No._

 

Within seconds Kageyama’s jeans and boxers were rigged around his knees, his hands working his solid cock in desperate stroke.

 

_It is sick, and fucking disgusting._

 

Hinata let out a continuum of desperate moans, each slamming injection into his body hitting his pleasure point on repeat. Kageyama pumped himself off in time with the digit. In out; up down.

 

“I-I can’t- I am gonna-!”

Kageyama felt it too. His throat burned and his head became too heavy.

And Oikawa, glanced between them both.

“Cum.”

And they did.

White ropes spilled from Hinata and Kageyama’s dick in unison. Kageyama thought it was pretty romantic.

 

_I am sick, and fucking disgusting._

 

Kageyama fell against the wall, sinking to the floor.He could hardly make out the words over the ringing in his ears, but he could tell they got up and were making their way the exit.

There was a banging, and Hinata started babbling in a raspy way.

“I think I should go out first… just in case someone sees me with… you.“

“Hey, you’re hurting my feeling Chibi-tan.”

“Please… call me Hinata-or Shouyou. You’re suppose to do that when you, um. Right?”

Kageyama wasn’t sure if the blaring noise in his thoughts had interrupted the two or they stood in utter silence, but the next words Kageyama heard were leaving him.

“Um, I… I’m sorry I didn’t… do you.” That was Hinata. Kageyama’s eye’s began to sting.

He could hear Oikawa smiling.

“I’m **generous**.” 

Kageyama thought his head might explode.

 

Then the door shut and he could hear a single pair of footsteps walking across the locker room floor until his stretched silhouette stood under the archway.

“Isn’t that right, _Tobio-chan_?” Oikawa stared down at Kageyama and the putrid liquids that ran down his bare thigh, “See you here next week,” and _laughed_. 

He walked away with a wave and that stenciled smile. 

Leaving Kageyama to rot in his own filth. 

* * *

 III. blood pressure 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you realize you just wrote a whole chapter on a kid jacking off: {ಠ_ಠ}
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you guys liked this... you're reviews all mean so much!! Thanks loves I promise I'll go to church today (•✞_✞•)
> 
> Love Kit


	4. IIII. wrist grabbing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god you guys I love this chapter (´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ! I hope you guys like it ⊂((・▽・))⊃! For the first time it's not all disturbing imagery and such, it's actually my babies being CUTE! （‐＾▽＾‐） Please enjoy, sorry for the wait ITS A LONG CHAPTER !

 

 

* * *

IIII. wrist grabbing

* * *

 

 

Tuesday, at five o’ nine (Hinata says, “Volleyball is life, dude!” as he scribbles the time in Kageyama’s planner) the sun had begun to set. Kageyama turned off the lights, for the yellow film of late afternoon broke through his draped window and colored the walls golden.

Pencils spilled over his desk, legs crossed and fan spinning, Kageyama held his breath for every second was a moment closer for Hinata to walk into his room. They were going to study for the “Scarlet Letter” test, or whatever else they had to do. Kageyama hadn’t really heard right in the first place, too overwhelmed by the fact that him and Hinata would be alone together not even a complete day after… well after _that thing._

 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Kageyama’s spine stood straight as the familiar voice broke his conscious.

 

_I know what that voice is capable of._

 

“Stop yelling, and sit.”

 

Hinata huffed, “Okay, okay…” clearly noting what sort of study session this would be. And to think he even brought pretzel sticks for them to share.

 

Hinata flopped beside Kageyama with a sigh.

And Kageyama tried not to notice the slight jolt Hinata made when his body connected with the floor.

 

“How was school?” Kageyama asked in a usual bored tone, his eyes not once turning from the blank problem on his math homework.

Hinata huffed again, his elbows hitting the glass table and the metal zipper of his sweatshirt clanking against the side.

“Boring. So super boring.” His knuckles rested against his cheek, his other hand draped over the width of the table. “Me and Noya-san had a contest to see who knew the biggest word ever.”

“And what did you say?”

Hinata made a whimper before rubbing his wrist over his eyes.

“Well, I thought he meant ‘the word that meant the biggest thing ever,' but apparently he meant ‘the word with most letters.'”

“…idi-“

“Anyway!” Hinata cut him off, his cheeks growing a little hot at the remark, “It was just a horrible day.”

They were a little quiet after that, and Hinata obviously didn’t like that from the way he tottered from one side to another.

“Ne, Kageyama?” The redhead mumbled while spinning an eraser cap across the hardwood-floor, “Why won’t you look at me?”

 

_Because I just jacked off to you get mutilated by another guy._

 

He didn’t say that of course, he just sort of grumbled something then stabbed Hinata’s eye with the back of his pencil.

“Ow! You ass, that hurt!”

“That’s what you get for asking stupid questions.”

The two of them sort of sat there glowering at their papers sending out all sorts of wicked endorphins.

Kageyama seemed to dislike that even more than Hinata did.

“So,” he breathed after a while of staring at that same problem, “what is the word you know for the biggest thing ever?”

Hinata smiled.

Kageyama could feel his small breath of laughter from beside his ear, which was extremely close for a mere moment as Hinata settled on his… knees.

“I said ‘huge’, but on the way over here I realized that ‘massive’ is so totally bigger.”

“What about enormous?” Kageyama fueled back, catching a quick glimpse of the pop in Hinata’s eyes.

“Wait, yeah, but what about ‘ginormous’?!”

“Gigantic.”

“Gar-gargantuan! Wow, ‘huge’ sucks!”

“ **Brobdingnagian**.”(1)

Hinata blinked.

“That’s definitely not a word.”

“Yes it is.” Kageyama snapped turning to send a pointed glare at Hinata.

“Oh yeah,” Hinata mumbled raising an eyebrow as he leaned into Kageyama with both elbows on the table and his fingers pressed against his cheeks. He was wearing a kind of mocking expression, one that Kageyama sort of found sexy… “Then use it in a sentence.”

“ _Brobdingnagian_ ,” Kageyama started, always excepting of a challenge, “is definitely a real word.”

 

…

 

“Fine. I guess you do know the best word.”

“It’s not a guess,” Kageyama said staring down at the redhead with an arched-brow, “I do know the best word.”

And then Hinata started laughing and that made Kageyama’s blood drop at the sweet and unexpected bubbles.

“W-what?!?”

Hinata used the back of his sleeve to cover his mouth, before looking up with enough light in his eyes to last Kageyama a lifetime of sun, “I got you to look at me!”

That made Kageyama blush, and sweat, and want to curl up and die.

“…Idiot.”

 

* * *

IIII. wrist grabbing

* * *

 

 

They ate pretzel sticks and drank fruit juice as they read each other flashcards. It wasn't a completely bad system of studying had the two actually been focusing on the task in hand, but of course that was not the case. They were both destined to fail regardless.

“Okay Hinata, seriously,” Kageyama said to the redhead who sucked on a pretzel stick as if it were a pipe, “What does Chillingworth represent?”

 

_I’ll give you a better pipe than-_

 

“Ah, but of course,” Hinata now said in a poor British Accent, “He represents the chilling-ness of the soul.”

Kageyama re-read the flash card to himself, it certainly didn’t match, “Well, no-but, I mean, I guess-yeah.” He squinted and flipped the words upside-down as if it would help anything, “It’s pretty much the same thing.”

“Gimmie!” Hinata yipped, pulling himself off the floor to snatch a pile of flashcards beside Kageyama.

He coughed before reading out the first question.

“How did Dimmesdale d- I mean, what happened to Dimmesdale?”

“He died. And got like, over-taken by sunlight, like… pwah.”

Hinata nodded, eagerly flipped through to the next card.

“Why was the Reverend’s and Hester’s relationship viewed as…” Kageyama watched those pink lips freeze, “ _wrong_?” he asked, this time, in a much quieter voice.

 

“Well,” Kageyama swallowed focusing on the way Hinata’s eyes lost focus with the card, “they come from different places, he’s not suppose to be with anyone and definitely not someone who once loved someone else… people think that people like them shouldn’t be together.”

Hinata nodded slowly.

“Kageyama,” He whispered, “Do you think people like that shouldn’t be together?”

 

“Wh-Why-…“

 

_Hey. What’s with that look._

_That tone…_

 

 

“Why does it matter what I think, anyway?” Kageyama snipped, quick to turn his nose in the other direction after the words left his lips.

He was quickly shaken, eye’s wide as Hinata lunged at him.

Kageyama choked back a yell as his shoulder was grabbed by small hands.

“Hinata,” He automatically shouted, turning to glare at the redhead, “What the hell are-“ he was met with big brown eyes, pooling of a pure poison (Kageyama was sure) that made his insides shatter.

 

“Kageyama!” Hinata yelled back, which was good because Kageyama knew for a fact that if he had used his usual voice, there was no way he would have heard him over his own pulse; “I need to tell you something that you can’t tell anyone!”

 

Kageyama’s stature was having a war, one side of him pulling back at the proximity, the sight, the feeling of Hinata, the other wanted to bend in, trap him, pin him down and keep him there. He was too startled to be disgusted with himself.

 

“What is it, what’s wrong?” He said, naturally nearly matching the volume of Hinata’s voice.

“I-… well, nothing’s wrong, it’s just… please promise me you won’t tell anyone?!”

“I don’t have anyone to tell!”

Hinata made a futile attempt to glare through watered eyes, “ _Kageyama_ ,”

“I promise.”

Hinata swallowed, almost as if he didn’t want Kageyama to agree such conditions.

“I’m, uh” He mumbled, now looking at the disregarded flashcards lying across the floor, “I’m gonna whisper it, okay?”

Kageyama didn’t answer because he had to hold his breath as those hot hands pressed around his ear. His throat got tight and his joints locked up at when Hinata’s mouth came beside him.

Hinata let out a defeated little breath of air that felt warm and misty against Kageyama’s ear and with it an insane voltage running between his legs.

 

“I like guys the way you're suppose't to like girls.”

 

 

A strange sort of reverberation banged around in Kageyama’s skull, one that made his face scrunch up with Hinata assumed to be disgust.

“I-It doesn’t mean anything.” The redhead said quickly, watching the way Kageyama zoned out into the wall ahead of them, “I’m sorry. I-I probably shouldn’t have told you…”

 

It wasn’t disgust though, it was confusion because Kageyama _already_ knew that, the whole goddam team knew that. Today, Tanaka told him that Hinata freaking announced it to him and Nishinoya a few weeks ago.

Hinata had never directly told him, but still… why did he make it such a big deal now.

 

And there is an even bigger secret that Hinata has been keeping.

 

_You’re fucking the senior captain of our rival team._

 

“Kageyama-san, I understand if you need to think about it. I’m going to take my leave.” The lack of airiness in Hinata’s voice sounded weird enough to reel Kageyama back just as the redhead got up from his spot beside him.

His finger’s jerked out, clasping around Hinata’s wrist. They both turned to each other, shocked for… different reasons.

“I-,”Kageyama started surprised at the bland steadiness of his voice, “don’t have a problem with it. At all. Sorry, I was just-“

Then that steadiness cracked and his words stopped flowing as Hinata lit up.

 

“Kagayama! Oh God, thank God-” Hinata’s two thin arms stretched forward as he leapt on top of Kageyama, their chests colliding as Hinata wrapped the latter up in himself.

“I’m so happy you aren’t upset. I wasn’t sure if you would be…"

 

_Hot, so burning hot-_

 

Kageyama’s ears buzzed as Hinata’s cheek pressed against the side of his neck.

 

_So fucking hot._

 

His hips twitched, his body involuntarily trying to fuck the male as he  breathed against the slope in Kageyama’s shoulder,

 

“Because Kageyama would never even think of liking boys!”

  

 

* * *

 

IIII. wrist grabbing

* * *

 

 

At seven o'clock, while Hinata discreetly flung a green pea at Kageyama with his fork hidden under the table, Kageyama’s mother asked if Hinata wanted to spend the night. He did of course. And of course Kageyama had no idea why he suddenly pictured Hinata rubbing himself off like on the spare mattress like a dog.

But Hinata didn’t talk much after that.

At a quarter to ten, Kageyama brushed his teeth. He stood alone in front of the bathroom mirror, hearing the fan spin from his room next door, the thick filter of light slipped down his narrow cheek bones and ran along the rim of his long face. Sighing he brought a wet cloth on his face and scrubbed for a few second.

Hinata always went to the bathroom with him, as strange as that sounds.

Whenever they had sleepovers (usually unplanned) they would brush their teeth next to each other and send little glares sometimes. Once Hinata actually spit on him, and that was gross, but kind of nice and playful…

Hinata was in Kageyama’s room, typing away at his phone.

He got a text message at around seven thirty, and it made those big brown eyes grow, and those nice pink lips purse, and Kageyama wasn’t sure at first who it was but judging by the way Hinta's pupils would dart to screen as they re-watched their favorite Volleyball matched on the t.v., it was his mother, or Oikawa.

Kageyama swished the water/toothpaste back and forth between his lips before spitting it into the sink.

 

_Probably Oikawa_

 

He dried his mouth with a towel and padded next-door. And swallowed.

 

Hinata sat in pitch blackness, only illuminated by the screen of his phone. His back was turned, so Kageyama couldn’t really make out the expression on his face, but judging by the way his back bend and the stiffness of his shoulder…

 

“…Hinata?”

He flinched enough for Kageyama to see the glassiness in his eyes.

“S-sorry! I’m going to bed now.”

Kageyama gave a shallow nod before pulling the mattress out from under his bed and preparing the blankets.

“Thanks,” Hinata sang, swimming under the sheets, “goodnight Kageyama!”

Kageyama sighed as he laid straight in his bed, staring into the ceiling.

“Aren't you going to get in your pjs or something?”

Hinata doesn’t wash his face, Kageyama most of the times doesn’t wash his face, and sometimes they both even forget to brush their teeth, but Hinata always makes a point to at least rip off his jeans before sleeping. He hadn’t changed out of his nice new zip-up sweatshirt since this afternoon.

Kageyama shifted, after realizing he wasn’t getting an answer, and would have just tried to fall asleep and forget about it if not for noticing the orange backpack zipped up and ready to go against the wall.

“Are you…” He blinked, rolling back over to face the ceiling, “leaving…?”

He heard Hinata take a quick breath.

“Yeah,” He said, his voice rasping in a way that made Kageyama’s ears ring, “yeah, I am.”

“Oh.”

Hinata shuffled on his mattress, Kageyama not daring to look over as the springs creaked.

“Kageyama,” His voice was close, his finger were wrapped around the edge of his bed, “Kageyama,”

“What?”

“Look at me…”

He did. He **had** to. He also had to pretend that staring into those eyes didn’t make his chest feel like it might collapse.

“I-I’m sorry. I would never just leave given the normal thing — it’s just…” Hinata swallowed looking to his fingertips digging aimlessly into the side hemming of Kageyama’s mattress, “I don’t have anyone like this. And I never will _because_ I’m like this. You-you won’t get it. But… I promise I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have to.”

And when Hinata begged him to forgive him with those beautiful and honest eyes Kageyama just had to say “Okay,”

 

When he said so, Hinata didn’t light up in the same way he use to when he would agree to something. It was as if he chose wrong on response one of those video games. Kageyama felt his heart beat angrily against his chest just as he grabbed Hinata’s wrist as he turned to get up.

“At least tell me who you care about this much,” he said it so fast, the words running out like aggravated gusts of wind in a motionless house.

The sound sets for a moment, both of them looking just below each other's bottom lip.

“Oikawa Tooru.” Hinata says softly.

 

The words don’t hurt them any less.

 

Kageyama lets go. He flips to face the wall and wraps the pillow around his head as tightly as he can.

 

He hears the door click behind him, just in time to notice the hot water staining his pillow case. When he thinks of a reason why he asked such a dumb question he will tell himself it was because he would have Hinata tell him something he doesn’t tell the others. It would be an exchange, because secrets are worth something.

But Kageyama asked that question praying for the small chance that maybe everything was fake, and Hinata wasn’t in love with anybody at all, and if he were than maybe it wouldn’t be Oikawa Tooru it would be-

But it was Oikawa Tooru, and after hearing those words vocalized, _from that person,_ **_in that voice_** , all chance of possibility died.

 

His eyes burned and he was tired, but Kageyama Tobio did not sleep.

 

* * *

 _End of Part 1: THe Illness_  
 

* * *

IIII. wrist grabbing

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Wow kags that is a word (even if you got it from the word of the day) ( ⋂‿⋂’) It means big, huge, ex. not used like ever. It's from a book ! Also I hope you all understood this scene! They are just idiots (*＾ワ＾*)
> 
> Hope you guys liked this chapter... even though it was so totally sad... 
> 
>  
> 
> I have a pretty good plan of the flow of this story, can anyone guess what's gonna happen (⊙ヮ⊙)
> 
> Thanks guys! Love you!
> 
> Kit (▰˘◡˘▰)


	5. V. more

There is a disconnect within his brain. One that lags in the connection between what he wants and what he imagines. He moves backwards in a sense, whereas most would want something so they dream it, He learns what he desires from the rampant images that constantly hit the insides of his own skull. There is a piece of wire that has been missing, the one that makes him personal to his own consciousness. This is the disconnect.

_Part 2: The disconnect_

 

 

 

* * *

 V. more

* * *

 

In Math class, Kageyama pictures Hinata fully displayed across his teachers desk. He pictured him on his back with his legs spread, naked and begging.

In Science class, Kageyama pictures Hinata against the white board.  Fingers clawing against the wall with his hips out, naked and quivering.

In English class, Kageyama pictures Hinata on all fours. Come pooling between his lips, reddened, naked and dirty.

Kageyama and Hinata share none of the same classes, but Kageyama realized that if he **takes his times** putting his books away in English, he can watch Hinata enter the classroom across the hall.

And ironically, Kageyama needed this because he had a hard time remembering the way Hinata’s knees would bend during History class.

 

I takes Kageyama twenty-seven days of this to realize he wants Hinata to do these things for him.

 

And seven more to realize the nauseating wave Kageyama feels at the utterance of “The Grand King’s” name is more jealousy than the flue.

But he’s getting sicker all the same.

* * *

V. more

* * *

 

“Yeah? Well, at least I’m improving.” Hinata panted from the ground, his chest rising and falling on the ground.

Kageyama sent him a bit of a glare as he stretched his thigh, the threatening look weakened by the insufferable feeling of fatigue and the desire to jump on top of the other and blast his brains out.

“You’re not getting better at allllllll~”

“Shouyou, that’s not nice!” Nishinoya was quick to add before giving Kageyama a genuine smile.

“But it’s true! He really isn’t-” Nishnoya’s swift kick to the side shut Hinata him up quickly.

“We all get better each time we practice,” Sugawara smiled patting Hinata a little too roughly on the head as he whimpered, “even Kageyama-kun.”

Daichi agreed, and Tanaka even pulled up Kageyama from the ground just to sling an arm around his shoulder…which was…weird.

* * *

V. more

* * *

 

Today, it took Kageyama longer to leave the changing room. It already took him an extra ten minutes to secure a place in solitary because he now realized he can’t even hear the  sound of Hinata rolling his shorts over his knees without having his stomach jump between his lungs. It wasn’t exactly enjoyable anymore either.

Kageyama pressed his back against the metallic green bathroom stall, willing a cold chill to momentarily stain his worked muscles.

He wasn’t getting any better at volleyball, he was getting worse.

His teeth bared tightly against each other, the thoughts making his fingers curl into his palms.

Now Kageyama’s head was always full with Hinata, and in turn the ball hardly hit the tip of his fingers and fell in a weak arch.

 

And he realized that before his head had always been full of volleyball, so Hinata’s lips would be directed at him, but only in a smile.

 

It made him go crazy because instead of thinking about how to get a toss directly into Hinata’s hands three months ago he should have been thinking of how to get to him directly in bed. All before Oikawa had even waved, or smiled or-Kageyama wasn’t sure, but whatever introduction it was he wish it hadn’t happened and wouldn’t have let it.

And because of all of this Kageyama was the worst of kind of mix; horny and so fucking pissed off, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

 

Kageyama breathed in through his mouth and the air stuck to his throat just as a fist pound against the bathroom stall.

“One minute,” he hissed, clawing his fingers around the neck of his shirt and pulling his head through the opening.

He slammed his feet into his shoes, his heels causing the backs to collaps.

When he ripped open the door Daichi was staring down at him.

 

“Hey Kageyama, thought you’d be out of here by now” for just a moment, Sugawara’s smile make his uprooted emotions feel petty.

He bows quickly and was about to make a quick exit had he not noticed Asahi peeking over at him from the other side of the room in such a suspicious way that his feet had slowed. Daichi grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling him onto a bench by his hood.

At first he thought they would beat him up.

He’d heard of third years doing that to first years before, he just hadn’t really thought his senpai's would follow such traditions…

“Sorry Kageyama, there is something we need to talk to you about.” Daichi said in a slow voice. Kageyama braced himself.

“It’s just-there is a problem…”Suga looked over at the captain as he awkwardly stuffed his hands in his pockets, “You seem to be- you won’t stop-you keep…“ Kageyama closed his eyes and held his breath as Daichi swallowed hard his words muffled and unclear. “-Hinata.”

Boom.

The one word sounded through his mind, the flame lit match onto a forest.

 

_Hinata._

_Hinata._

 

Kageyama’s face numbed, his cheeks fell and the dark blues of his eyes emptied.

“We’re worried about you,” Sugawara said, smiling although Kageyama couldn’t see over the fragmented thoughts blocking his vision.

 

_They **can’t** know._

_**No one** should know._

 

“You seem to be unfocused and… upset and we just want to make sure everything is-“

“Why?”

Sugawara blinked.

“W-what?”

“Why are you saying this?” Kageyama said with rapid pace, the words falling out of his mouth without tone. He could hear nothing but his own voice.

“Kageyama, you don’t need to-“

“Why do you know something like that about me?” He looked between the three of them with wild eyes.

 

 

**_No one is meant to know._ **

**_No one should be able to tell._ **

 

Kageyama’s fists shook and teeth chattered.

 

Asahi lowered his head.

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Daichi nodded while he patted the other’s back, “We haven’t told Hinata-”

 

And the utterance of that single name, the codeword for ‘destroy your self,’ made him burst.

 

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! _WHY_ DO YOU KNOW?”

 

Devastation shook Kageyama’s core.

 

The third years were shocked into wide eyed silence as Kageyama’s hands fell to his knees and he desperately inhaled. As quickly as he had risen, Kageyama fell back onto the bench.

“I-I’m sorry. I just…” He couldn’t look up. He wasn’t so much embarrassed as he was terrified. He swore he could feel something cracking in his chest.

“If-if  you know- if you can tell that I’m losing my freaking head,” he bit into his bottom lip to stop it from shaking, “then he might know too.”

Sugawara tried to say something that could help, something that could calm down the first year, but could realized as he opened his mouth there wasn’t anything he could think to say. The locker-room was silent. That is, until front door burst open and two yipping second years stormed in.

“That’s it, that’s it!” Asahi flinched as Nishinoya marched up behind him and into the center of their circle, Tanaka close behind. “I have heard enough!”

“Yeah, yeah!” The second loudmouth yipped on.

“Kageyama, we are going to-“

“Noya, what are you doing? We said we needed a private-“

“Sorry captain but you guys are doing awful!”

Suga and Daichi exchanged looks.

“Not… _awful_.”

“Yes,” Nishinoya raised a finger to his captain, “awful.”

“Noya! You’re so cool standing up to our sempais like that!” Tanaka whooped, and Asahi nodded a bit without realizing.

“Kageyama,”Nishinoya grinned, planting his hands on his hips before turning to face the boy straight on, “from this day forward we will mend you!”

Kageyama blinked.

“M-mend me?”

“Or-okay, maybe that’s not the best word choice, but I promise that this feeling thing you got going on,” Nishinoya’s finger waved down Kageyama like a yellow jacket, “will disappear. Sooooo,” The libro paused, his vision darting analytically, “what are you feeling right now?”

Kageyama paused. He shifted and twisted his face.

“I don’t know.”

“You… don’t know?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“… No?”

Nishinoya ‘hmmed’, curling his finger in front of his chin.

“Maybe it’s that he just can’t say it.” Tanaka added, receiving an encouraging nod from Noya.

And then, a great big grin shattered the libero's face, he looked over at his comrade Tanaka with suspicious intent, “We can definitely help with that.”

Daichi grunted, darting his eyes to the shorter boy, “So basically you and Tanaka are going to be mentoring Kageyama?”

“Well, yeah.” Noya said, “The whole team’s gotta be in on this too,- and Kageyama I saw that face- obviously Hinata won’t know about this at all.”

“Of course.” Sugawara smiled giving Kageyama a thumb’s up.

“But tonight, young disciple-” Tanaka said, slinging an arm around Nishinoya who immediately picked his sentence, “The two of us are going to show you a whole new world.”

The glint in Noya’s eyes proved to Kageyama he wasn’t fibbing.

* * *

V. more

* * *

 

Kageyama didn’t want to say that he hated it, he didn’t even want to think it because apparently this was all about staying open to everything, but he was pretty sure he hated it.

The floor was sticky and the rooms were only slightly lit so really, no one had any idea what it was they were stepping on, and sometimes, who the hell they were even talking to. The smell of alcohol, shoes, and melted sugar hit Kageyama’s senses the moment he stepped through the door and he was almost positive he caught a whiff of vomit too, but made sure to immediately told himself he was just making things up. He did that a lot now.

“You see Kageyama,” Nishinoya turned back at him, giving him a massive grin that Kageyama tried to imitate, “This is what high school is all about!” Kageyama only did it out of politeness. He didn’t really feel like smiling.

“Not only that,” Tanaka was leading them down the foyer, waving at a guy as he and his buddy did some weird head bumping dance to the bass, “but you’re a first year. First years don’t get these kinda invites.”

“I didn’t know I was invited.”

“Well, since you’re with us,” Tanaka lead the three into the kitchen, “ you don’t need an invite.”

There were about fifteen people packed into that small room. They were either talking in clusters, drinking, or laughing over the guy eating a spoonful of baking powder.

Kageyama wasn’t quite sure he wanted the invite anyway.

Tanaka motioned for the first of them to stand behind him, which he did because he really had no idea what else he would do.

 

_Who lets people fuck up their house like this?_

 

“Hey,” Tanaka nearly shouted, “can we get a drink!?”

Before he knew it, a big thick bottle was tucked between Kageyama’s fingers. Svedka Vodka. Apparently it was raspberry flavored.

“Hey, you’re looking at it like it’s a science experiment- just go for it! That stuff is pretty expensive!”

Kageyama shifted from one foot to another. “Isn’t this exactly what I’m not supposed to do?” He glanced over at the second years who shared weary expressions, “You know, drowning my sorrows?”

Nishinoya nodded, and for a minute Kageyama thought he was about to take the bottle away, “You definitely should not rely on alcohol to help clear your head. If anything drinking this will only make it worse, but I think in order to help you Kageyama, we need to figure out what's wrong first, and for some reason you either don’t know or won’t say it.” Tanaka seemed to agree with this theory also, judging from the rough pat on the shoulder Kageyama received.

“Unless you don’t want to of course. We would never want to push you to anything. Alcohol is really bad for minors - well actually for anyone really.”

Kageyama paused for a moment, shifting his eyes to the onlooking 2nd years,

 

_Drinking is bad. Drinking is gross. Drinking makes people make big mistakes. Drinking can permanently mess me up. Drinking can lead to accidents. Drinking could kill me._

__  
  


And then to the dark pink bottle in hand.

 

_… Fuck it._

 

Within the next few seconds the Raspberry Vodka was rushing down Kageyama’s throat.

“W-Whoa! Dude! That’s not-“

It took him another few seconds to actually taste the Alcohol. His eye’s widened and he drug his head down. He definitely tasted it now.

Nishinoya, whom Kageyama had actually momentarily forgot about, banged lightly on his spine.

“That was quite the shot you had there, huh?” He laughed his palms pressing a bit quickly from the nerves.

Surprisingly enough, Kageyama shot right up and straight out yelled,“Raspberry my _ass_!” before charging off into the crowd.  

* * *

 V. more

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see darlings! Hope you didn't miss me too much! Here is the latest chapter, sort of a boring one, but it's an important one!
> 
> IMPORTANTLY (Spoiler maybe for people who really are thinking this story out?)  
> I decided to make it clearer that from the start of this story Kageyama didn't even KNOW he had any intrest in Hinata, he just percieved things and didn't think much of it. What Kageyama lacks is the ability to self-annalyze. 
> 
> From here on out though, Kageyama is totally aware of the sexual attraction he has to our angel! (do ya blame him?!)
> 
> THANKS FOR READING PLEASE KUDOS AND COMMENT!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments will all be answered and kudos and everything are adored (•͈⌔•͈⑅)!! Thank you (ּ⌔̀௰ּ⌔́)!! 
> 
> ~Kit ⸉ॢ⸍͕͈ ˕̫ ⸌͔͈⸊ॢ₎♡͚♡͙


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